Tuesday, 20 December 2016

The One and Only Zsa Zsa Gabor

Apologies to my many readers worldwide for the disappearing act. But life is like a river and has a way of taking you down streams not imagined.

I am back on dry land, spyglass to hand and pen to paper, checking out the massive increase in Shebug spottings of late. 

It's not just the Poles that have shifted, but so has the accepted moral compass. In the beloved Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, one of these plotting pout-lipped pretenders will soon be referred to as First Lady.

But for now, let us keep our wits about us and instead, bid farewell to a Hungarian-American icon who played up to the gold digger image with enviable wit, yet was anything but a Shebug: Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Though more famous for being famous, the beautiful and colourful Zsa Zsa became an actress in her own right stepping onto the stage first in Vienna after winning the Miss Hungary crown. She dazzled viewers on films as much as on television but it was her private life than enthralled one and all. The platinum blonde married and remarried many a time and eventually chose a prince to settle down with for the long run. Et pourquois pas?

Feast your funny bone, 'dahlinks', as she was famous for addressing everyone. After nearly a century, we are left with the most delectable quotes from the inimitable Ms. Gabor:

 ‘Husbands are like fires – they go out when unattended.’

'A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.'

'There is nothing wrong with encouraging a man's advances, as long as they are in cash.'

'I know nothing about sex, because I am always married.' 

'I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.'
’I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.’

‘I want to pay my own bills…I want to choose the man. I do not permit men to choose me.’

‘The only way to learn a language properly, in fact, is to marry a man of that nationality. You get what they in Europe a ‘sleeping dictionary’. Of course, I have only been married five times, and I speak seven languages. I’m still trying to remember where I picked up the other two.’

‘How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?’

‘Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in my divorce settlement. He gave me 5000 Gideon Bibles.’

‘I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is it too much to ask of a millionaire?’