Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Shebugs of 30 East 85th Street

Please refer to Chapter Five: The Shebug’s Web of my first book, Shebug: Dissecting the Gold Digger. The first sentence reads: “All Shebugs follow the two Bs of decor, * or *, to ensure they land the three Ls: location, location, location.”

That’s the name of the Shebug game.

This week’s prime property is located across the pond in high-octane, high-stakes Manhattan. It appears that two Shebugs are laying claim to apartment 7C paid for by sugar daddy, 81-year-old, George Soros.

At present, 39-year-old Tamika Bolton calls it her home. Renting in the same building is recently dumped 28-year-old Brazilian, Adriana Feereyr, who swears that Soros had promised the $1.9 million apartment to her. (Let us pause and do the numbers here, shall we? The women’s combined age, 67, is still 14 years younger than the octogenarian Soros. Sans paroles…)

The snarling legally armed women have various things in common: both are brunettes and possess Teflon-thick skin. The president of the condo board and the doorman could potentially bank a series of sweet sums from Soros, Bolton and/or Ferreyr whilst this heated triangle remains at odds. Let’s hope, of course, that there is no greasing of palms or foul play at any point.

Ferreyr is a Shebug scorned. It was during a recent reconciliatory sleepover that George let it slip that his new girlfriend was to be the proud owner of apt 7C. According the lawsuit she has filed, at that point the lovers quarreled. Their arguments became so heated, Adriana claims Soros slapped her and then tried to bash her with a lamp.

Adriana is an ex-soap star of her native Brazil. Expect dramatic flare-ups. Tamiko, on the other hand, is a licensed pharmacist --and can certainly qualify as a manifesting master --who actively meditates. Both will take very different tacks to secure their billionaire’s share of the booty.

Were I a screenwriter, I’d be submitting my first draft of the ‘Shebugs of 30 East 85th Street’ series right about now…

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