Wednesday, 9 January 2013

As Transparent as Crystal

 Unlike last week’s story about a ‘bride and prune’, our latest protagonist has proven herself to be even more voracious. This time the couple appear more like grandfather and granddaughter. The bride looks like Barbie Doll model number gazillion- for Barbie wannabes make up the greatest percent of the ‘Curvaceous Crawlers’ category insofar as Shebugs.

The stereotypical long, peroxide maned, chesty bimbo works as ideal bait for men-with-money-of-the less-evolved sort, those who become instantly stunned by all things visual.  

Today’s twenty-six year old Shebug proved to be more than meets the eye because the the swarm of lookalikes she cut through to snaffle her prey does not get any trickier - or competitive. I've been a guest at her husband's Beverly Hills mansion, so I can verify this. 

Her billionaire is the most notorious of them all, forever surrounded by a fresh bevy of silicone breasted,  plasticised females renown for their big ears and bushy tails: Playboy Prince, Hugh Hefner.

Interestingly, American-born Crystal Harris was brought up in the West Midlands of England. She used to sing in the Ye Olde Rose and Crown Pub of which her parents were the landlords.

Married on New Year’s Eve to the head of the Bunny Empire places this deceivingly well-cloaked cut-throat jeune femme as one of the richest women of America.

July’s issue of Playboy featured Ms Harris on the cover as ‘Runaway Bride’. Apparently the disparate two were to have married last June except that the poor bunny got cold feet after her one, and only one go, at intimacy with the octogenarian.

Crystal is a long-term planner at heart. Her 86 year old sugar granddaddy suffered a stroke at 59 and has survived two prior divorces. He smokes a pipe and is on the brink of another birthday.  But is time on her side? Hef claims that both his parents lived till the ripe old age of 101...

A friend of mine bets that Ms Harris-Hefner still has to complete her ultimate mission: to make sure husband Hef is given high wattage attention round the clock, and to throw the most surprise-ridden birthday bash for him in April. 

I think that is a rather harsh view... But could Crystal  be that transparent? 

Watch the video.

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