Monday, 22 June 2015

Gaudy Glitterati

Well, hello….And long time no write. Sorry, darlings!
London is in the throngs of summer - English summertime that is, and so far it has not disappointed and will remain forever a daily topic of conversation peppered with a weird blend of perplexity, disappointment topped with a dash of stoic surrender.

Still, London remains a city of wonder and ever full of surprises where cranes have become the new official bird and billions flow like hypocrisy from a Shebug’s lips.

Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Rolls Royces and Bentleys can be found parked every other street from Chelsea to Mayfair, Kensington to Knightsbridge. In Beauchamp Place, a cackle of them double park or plain make themselves very much at home on half the pavement heavily scented with shisha pipes; if you are in a rush at night, avoid Beauchamp Place. 

No surprise if you do not believe me, just nip over to Harrods and you will see super cars of the Glitterati posing everywhere.

I am not a car person. In fact, my dream car for years was a sturdy jeep ready and revved up and so whisk me off from one off-the beaten-path globetrotting adventure to another. So when my eyes spot vehicles covered in velvet or in Swarovski crystals, are either painted rose gold or are actually gold plated, I blink down hard just to make sure that  I have not crossed into the Zero Taste Twilight Zone...

Furrari (velvet coated) Price Tag: £150,000
Owner: Ask any Shebug

Gold Ferrari Price Tag: £200,000
Owner: Iraqi Riyadh Al-Azzawi

Rose Gold Bentley Price Tag: Ask a Shebug
Owner: Who cares?

But it’s not all about men and their tawdry toys… The Swarovski covered Mercedes has every lipsmacking, hand rubbing Hebug about town clocking this owner’s every move. A 22 year-old Russian business student happily paid £20,000 to add one million crystals to her £55,000 set of wheels.

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Amazonian Red Mist

If you think this Miss Amazonas contestant is pure sugar and spice, think again…

Sheislane Hayalla will be damned before the freshly elected Miss Manaus, Carol Toledo, waives back at the adoring cheering crowd only to walk away with the much coveted title and the booty.

Shebugs are sore losers indeed. They cannot stomach failing. AT ANYTHING. This South American specimen publicly resorted to yanking, wrenching and scene pulling without batting an eye. Thick skinned? You bet! Hissy fits are their specialty: decorum, to a Shebug, is the name of a Roman furniture store like Ikea is to Sweden.

This classic Shebug knee-jerk reaction, instinctive to their breed as stinging, biting, and milking others, occurs any time they fail to get that which they desire. So always watch your back when a Shebug is about…