Wednesday, 3 October 2012

The Pole and The Au Pair



The specimen under the microscope today falls under Chapter Eight: Curvaceous Crawlers, in my book ‘Shebug: Dissecting the Gold Digger’.

A colleague of mine presented me with her Shebug story, which centers on her au pair- except, not in the way you may think…

The Shebug is of Polish origin.

“She became known in the neighbourhood as ‘Glamour Puss’ ”, Kathleen tells me. “We all expected to see her on the arm of an oligarch.”

What nobody imagined was that one with such pulling power would end up dating Kathleen’s au pair.

Eyebrows went up and chins got scratched across the communal gardens when the unlikely Shebug coupling announced plans to wed.

The twenty-eight year old had only just graduated from university. Neither he, nor his family, had a penny to their name. Immemorial insofar as his looks and his carriage, he qualified as ideal MI6 material. His only future prospect worth note was to further his education.

The dodgy gaggle of individuals, whom Glamour Puss referred to as ‘family’, kept coming up with more and more colourful reasons to delay the wedding date, one sounding more ludicrous than the next. Everyone saw the writing on the wall, except for her smitten fiancé.

Eventually, the ridiculous excuses ran out. And so did the Glamour Puss along with her and her cronies.  

Kathleen knows it is only a matter of time before the Shebug’s face surfaces on the cover of some magazine as Mrs. Rich Deep-Pockets all decked out in riotous layers of crinoline and lace, and everything bad taste.

Fortunately, the broken-hearted au pair has since obtained a post-graduate degree, and a position with a major management consultancy.

And wouldn’t it be nice if his face showed up on Fortune Magazine instead?

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