Under Cover

Apologies for being off the radar but my reasons are legitimate: I am in the middle of Shebug territory, treading very softly, with my eyes wide open and pen to hand.

My secret location? The Southern Cone. Specifics, however, are best kept under wrap.

The ruling Shebug in power has eyes and ears everywhere.  She owns sways of land across the nation, across the River Plate, America and God knows where else.

Under this Shebug’s chestnut mane plots a sycophantic mind as devoid of light as a sea cave. This tacky terror is as scary as she is crazy.

She does, however, possess a sense of aesthetics. Her cabinet includes an unusually high percent of good-looking men, most too young to be allowed anywhere near the nation’s control tower.

The despot’s entourage features hotties such as Martin Lousteau (42), ex-minister of economy; Alfonso Prat Gay (47) and Martin Redrado (51), both Presidents of the Central Bank of Argentina. Note that when they were at the helm, they were between four to six years younger, give or take…

But it is 49-year-old Amado Boudou, her vice-president, who has claimed the longevity prize. The guitar-plucking swindler is part owner of a company that prints money. Interestingly, he is currently under investigation.

This afternoon I have a secret rendezvous with an old friend, an ex-diplomat, whose phones have been tapped since her return to the country. I believe she should run for office.

In exchange for my support, should she accept the challenge, I humbly request two things, and two things only: a small ranch on the Pampas and to be the person to vet her choice of cabinet members.

I might be ghastly with numbers, but I do have an eye for aesthetics.